Big Time Test
by Kailynn Sanchez
Summary: All the guys are super close friends, and are always there for each other. They can't live without eachother. But what happens when one commits suicide and has a secret that goes with him?
1. Chapter 1

**here's Big Time Test. well... there's nothing much to say here. This is just something that I really enjoyed writing. A little New Years present for ya.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of this except the plot.**

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_"If today was your last day, and tomorrow was too late, could you say goodbye to yesterday?" ~ Nickelback, "If Today was your last Day"_

**POV: Carlos Garcia**

I wrapped wires and cords around the wooden posts next to me. I adjusted the camera lens. If this worked out, it was going to be _perfect_.

"Carlos, what are you doing?"

I turned around and looked down from the platform that leads to the swirly-slide. Kendall was looking up at me with a questioning glare. He wasn't supposed to be home this early. No one was, except for me.

"Nothing."

He raised an eyebrow at me and walked off.

That was _way_ too close.

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POV: Kendall Knight

Once Carlos had come down from the platform, I went up there to see what he had been doing. I know that the guys and I had been ignoring him lately, but it was for his own good.

Carlos had always been soft. His feelings were easily hurt. We didn't mean to hurt him, though. We never mean to hurt him. He just takes everything to the extreme.

I think it was because he missed Minnesota that he'd been extra vulnerable lately. We'd bought him tickets for a weekend home. We were going to give them to him for his birthday next week.

Seeing nothing suspicious up on the platform, I went down the slide and smiled to myself. I knew Carlos was going to love his present. It he didn't, then we're all screwed.

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**it's a little short, sorry, but there really was nothing to do for this chapter without making it _really_ long. REVIEW PLEASEEEEEEEEE!**


	2. Chapter 2

_ "You found me, you found me laying on the floor… you found me just a little late…" ~The Fray, "You Found Me"_

**POV: Logan Mitchell**

Carlos was being unusually evasive lately. He'd go off on his own, when he was really such a people-person. I'd never seen him so secretive. Usually it was James or Kendall that kept to themselves, but never Carlos. He was always off blowing something up or getting himself or someone else hurt. He was probably just homesick.

I put my hand in my pocket and y=touched the birthday plane tickets. The guys trusted me the most with them – even more than Mrs. Knight. And I wasn't weak enough to just hand him the tickets when he walked into the room. I was stronger than that. It may not look like it, but I was.

"I can't wait to see his face," Kendall said.

"He'll be _so_ surprised," James added. "Hopefully, he's not still mad at us for ignoring him all this time. That'd be _bad_."

"No _dip_, Sherlock," I said.

"My name is _James_, Logan, not Sherlock."

"It's a joke, _James_."

We walked into a smoothie shop.

"Think we should get him something?" Kendall asked. "Like a cookie?"

"He likes cookies," James said.

"And a raspberry smoothie. He likes those, too."

"Yeah. You're paying for it!"

"I figured."

_**BTRBTRBTR**_

James skipped back to the Palmwoods and up to 2J to give Carlos his present. Kendall and I had to run to keep up with him, but we didn't mind. It was all fun and games until we got in the door.

"Slow down!" Kendall yelled, breathing heavily. "You're too fast for us!"

"Too bad for you!" James called back. "Now, where is he?" He started walking down the hall to the bathroom and our bedrooms.

"Ew, what's that?" I asked, pointing to something red seeping out from under the bathroom door.

"Oh, Carlos probably took juice in there again and fell asleep," James explained quickly. He kicked the door. "Carlos! Come out here! We have something for you!"

Kendall frowned. "That should've woken him up. He's a light sleeper."

"I'm going in." James turned the handle and poked his head around the door. "Oh… holy… shit…" He dropped the smoothie, and it spattered everywhere.

"What's wrong?" I took his place and looked inside.

The red stuff wasn't juice. It was Carlos' blood. He was collapsed against the tub, with a slit in his throat and a knife in his hand.


	3. Chapter 3

"_I keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding.. You cut me open." ~Leona Lewis, "Bleeding in Love"_

**POV: Kendall Knight**

Carlos… not Carlos…

No. He couldn't… he can't… he can't be _gone_.

Why… why would he do this? He knows that he belonged with us. He knew that sometimes things wouldn't work out right for him, and he's just keep going and hope for the best next time.

"Did he say anything to any of you?" I asked.

"No," they both said.

We were sitting on the orange L-shaped couch, trying to figure out why Carlos would pull something like this.

"Hey, guys," my mom said when she came in the door, a bag of groceries on her hip. "What's wrong?"

"Bathroom," the three of us murmured quietly.

"Good lord." My mom dropped the groceries on the floor when she saw the gory scene in the bathroom.

"I can't take this," I said, and stood up, heading for the room that I now had to myself.

I collapsed on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. There was no light in here now that Carlos wasn't alive anymore, and not even fifty spotlights would make my mood a shade lighter.

I pulled out my pocket-knife and tilted the blade so it caught the light at different angles. I held my left arm up and pressed the blade into my forearm until a drip of blood ran down my arm and dropped onto my chest. The pain felt good. I put a few more slashes onto the inside of my wrist.

Watching the blood run down my arm helped a little bit, but not much. Carlos was still gone.


	4. Chapter 4

"_I know where you hide, alone in your car." ~Maroon 5, "She Will be Loved"_

**POV: James Diamond **

After Kendall got up and left, Logan did, too. I was left all alone in the living room with a blanket, a few pillows, and my lonely self.

I tucked my knees to my chest and leaned against the back of the couch. I stayed there for what felt like forever. I never moved or got up. I barely breathed.

Someone dropped a blanket over me. I didn't know who. They said something, but I couldn't hear it. Everything was a blur around me.

At night, I let everything go. I let my tears fall. I let my lungs try to stop working and my heart try to stop beating. Nothing worked. If suicide was just so easy for Carlos, why wasn't it easy for me?

I needed to get out of this life. Knowing that Carlos was actually _dead_ was too much for me. And once I was gone, I was sure that Kendall and Logan would follow soon after me.

_**BTRBTRBTR**_

I held the knife in my hands.

Goodbye, life.


	5. Chapter 5

**lol sorry i haven't been posting this in a few days. school's gotten in the way for the three days i've been back... already had a test & a mini-paper to write. jeez... i hate english... but i luv it. my school is bipolar ^.^**_

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"It's easy to feel like you're all alone, to feel like nobody knows." ~Hannah Montana, "Make Some Noise"

**POV: Logan Mitchell**

I opened the bathroom door. "James!"

He turned towards me with a blank, but slightly scared look in his eyes. "Please. Just let me do it."

"No!" I took the knife out of his hands. "What the hell do you think you're doing? We can't lose you, too!"

"I need to die, Logan." Tears were welling up in his light brown eyes. "I can't live without Carlos. He was my best friend. Without him, I'm nothing."

"You have _us_, though."

"_I don't care! _I need _Carlos_!" He collapsed on the floor, holding onto one of my legs, the tears streaming down his face.

I put the knife on the counter, far from James' reach, and sat next to him. "James, if you kill yourself, you are _never_ coming back. Ever."

"That's the _point_!"

"You have people here that _love_ you. They _want_ you here."

"I don't care."

"James, you have the best of _all_ of us. You have the best voice, the best hair, and you always have girls drooling over you."

"Kendall has Jo."

"Okay, he has _one_ girl drooling over him. But you have everything we've ever wanted. You want to leave all that?"


	6. Chapter 6

**teeheehee... y'all are gonna _liiiiiikkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeeee_ thisssss! it's a little short, but it gets the point that i was trying to portray across. but then again... all of these chapters are short... epilogue's long, tho. be prepared!**_

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"So I'm going home, to the place where I belong." ~Daughtry, "Home"

**POV: Carlos Garcia**

I hid in that little closet for a few days, keeping track of the monitors that were feeding images from 2J. After a week, things hadn't gotten better. Kendall was still cutting, James was still suicidal, and Logan had yet to cure them of their grief.

Logan… he showed nothing that hinted that he was grieving. Maybe he wasn't. Or maybe he knew what I was up to.

I flipped to another camera's monitor, and got a nice view of Logan's face. "Carlos, I know you're still out here." He held up a notebook in front of the camera. "You need to hide this stuff better. But seriously, you need to come back. James is already suicidal and Kendall's not far behind. Once they're gone, I will be, too. I know you're seeing this. Come back today. We need you."

I flipped back and forth between views of James and Kendall. They looked horrible. Then the thought hit me – this was all my fault.

I was the one who faked a suicide with someone else's body.

I was the one who set up cameras around 2J just to make sure that the other guys wouldn't hurt themselves because of me.

I was the one who was careless enough to leave my planning notebook out in the open.

I was the reason why James and Kendall would be dead soon, killed by their own hands.

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**PLEASE REVIEWWWWW!**


	7. Chapter 7

**haha! good chapter! y'all are _really_ gonna like this!**_

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"Believe in me. Help me believe in anything. 'Cause I wanna be someone who believes." ~Counting Crows, "Mr. Jones"

**POV: Kendall Knight**

The door opened, and a Latino face showed itself.

I seriously just about peed my pants.

"Kendall," it said.

I jumped up from the couch and ran to the kitchen. I grabbed a sharp knife and pointed it at what looked like Carlos. "Who are you?"

"Kendall, it's me, Carlos."

"No. You're… you're supposed to be dead. You're dead."

"I'm alive, Kendall. I'm back."

"You're lying!"

Logan ran out from around the corner. He stopped dead and smiled. "You're back."

"Try telling that to Kendall," 'Carlos' said. "He still thinks I'm dead."

"Kendall." Logan approached me, his hands out in caution. "It's really Carlos. He was never dead. I don't know how he did it, but he's back."

I lowered the knife a little bit. "Prove it."

"Prove it?"

"Prove that the body wasn't his, or that the thing standing there is really Carlos."

"Oh, so now I'm reduced to a _thing_?" Carlos asked.

I straightened up from my defensive position. "It really _is_ you."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you! You _never_ believe me!"

"Well, I believed you were dead, didn't I?"

"HOLY CRAP!" James showed up and threw something at Carlos' head. "WHO THE HELL ARE _YOU_?"

"James, it's Carlos," Logan said.

"He's back," I added.

"He was never dead."

"And that was my mom's favorite lamp."


	8. Chapter 8

**lol here's the comparingably long epilogue... . AND I IZ HAPPY! MY BF KISSED ME TODAY! HAPPY BUBBLES!**_

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"It's over now… all the promises I made were so stupid. Maybe we'll be able to be friends – if that's possible." ~Busted, "Over Now"

**POV: Carlos Garcia**

_**(Epilogue)**_

Having James chuck a lamp at me wasn't exactly how I had wanted to be greeted from being dead for a week. Normally, I would've expected a hug, a high-five, or a "Glad you're still alive"; but under the circumstances, I accepted his fit of rage and a glass lamp flying at my face as his normal behavior.

I sighed, realizing that James was just acting out of fear or confusion, and that he never would have done that to me if it was any other day. Well, one that I hadn't been dead for.

The flashing lights on the stage brought waves of fear and stage-fright through me. We hadn't been on stage for five years. And seven years had gone by since I had pulled my little suicide stunt.

"Carlos."

I turned around.

Kendall was standing there, tall and blonde as ever, a wide grin on his face. "Good to see you, buddy."

"Well, the years _have_ been good to _you_," I said with a smile. I noticed a gold band on his left ring finger. "Who'd you marry?"

"You'd never guess."

"Jenny Dinkler?"

"You wish."

"So you're _still_ making jokes about her?" A blonde woman came around a corner with a three-year old girl on her hip.

"You _actually_ married _Jo_?" I gasped.

"What's wrong with Jo?" Kendall asked.

I didn't say anything back, purely out of fear.

"And _this_ is Kennedy." He picked up the little girl and held her to his chest.

A stage crew ran by us, yelling to someone else that Logan had just arrived.

"Betcha twenty bucks he's a hippie," I said.

"Betche twenty bucks he's cool," Kendall replied.

Logan came into view wearing a black, tight-fitting t-shirt and jeans.

I handed Kendall a twenty-dollar bill behind my back.

"Hey, guys!" Logan hugged each of us, even Jo. "Hey, I heard James was right behind me. And I heard that he's a psychiatrist now."

"Oh good lord."

James came around the corner, and I barely recognized him. His hair was gone, trimmed up to about an inch long, and he now sported an expensive pair of glasses.

"Wow," the three of us said in unison.

"What?" James asked. "Carlos."

"James."

Logan cleared his throat to break the surprisingly awkward silence. "So, Carlos, exactly how did you pull it off? The suicide? You never told us."

"I just found some organization that could make peoples' DNA match anyone else's, so I got a clone, and killed him instead."

"So now you're a murderer?" James asked.

"No, I mean, these people wanted to kill themselves anyway, so I just let the guy kill himself. And I set cameras up everywhere and hid in that one closet on the fifth floor that everyone was afraid of."

"You're pretty damn lucky I didn't decide to commit suicide."

"I know. I came back before that could happen."

Kendall looked out at the crowd. "We should probably get out there. Can't keep the fans waiting any longer."

We went out and did what we were born to do. Having a microphone in my hand and words fall out of my lips brought me back to when I was sixteen. It was when I had been so innocent in everything I did. Nothing and no one could ever really hurt me.

But all the stunts I pulled are over now.

I have my friends.

They have me.

And I'm still alive.

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**lol my favorite chapter to write... how'd you like the tunr-outs of the guys? agree with me? disagree? review?**


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